Have you ever known that you needed to make a change, but were completely unable to do anything about it? Have you ever felt like you were physically paralyzed by life, like you were trapped in a room and you couldn’t get out?
That’s exactly how I felt for about three years when I was working as an actor in Hollywood.
Growing up in a small town in Kansas I had always felt like I was meant to do big things.
So right after my 18th birthday I packed up my bags and moved to Hollywood to be an actor, ready to take over the town.
It was rough at first, but I worked hard and eventually landed an agent and jobs started coming in.
I made good money, started getting invited to cool parties, and even managed to meet a few celebrities. My mother was proud and my friends back in Kansas were jealous.
I had it all figured out, or so I thought.
Except for one thing: I was absolutely miserable.
All the sketchy agents and managers telling me what to do, where to go, and who to talk to.
Sixteen hour days on set for months on end.
Fake friends with fake names with fake follower counts.
It all lacked depth and seemed pretty meaningless.
Not to mention the massive amount of drugs and alcohol I had to consume to “fit in” with the cool crowd was taking a toll on my psyche.
And I felt stuck.
Like I didn’t have control over my life and the direction I was heading in.
Like I should be grateful for the luck that I had and proud of the work that had got me there.
But at the same time I couldn't ignore the fact that everything about the job just wasn't for me.
My gut said that there had to be more to life than the game that I was caught up in.
The FOMO was real too. Watching my friends landing amazing jobs on social media, getting engaged, and living a life that seemed so meaningful and complete.
I started asking myself things like: Should I join a non-profit? Go back to graduate school? Join the Peace Corps?
Maybe an MBA? My friend got an MBA and he seemed pretty happy in the pics.
I didn’t know what exactly I wanted, but I knew that Hollywood wasn’t it.
And on top of that, I felt like there were so many potential viable options that I couldn’t choose just one.
So there I was, stuck in Hollywood dying to have a meaningful and fulfilling life, with no idea of how to move forward.
It’s what we like to call in the coaching business a “quarter-life crisis”.
And I was having one, full blown Eat, Pray, Love style.
So one day I decided to say “fuck it” and take action.
I sold everything I owned, cut way back on my expenses and went on a long journey of self-discovery.
I bought a plane ticket to Asia and got very serious (in a wild sort of way) about discovering what it took to live a life with purpose and meaning.
And I found out that there are a lot of people like me -- young, energetic, intense, purpose driven, but frustrated with the status quo and overwhelmed about our prospects for the future.
Luckily for me, I met several teachers and coaches along the way that had been on similar journeys and found the direction and fulfillment that I had sought.
So I decided to dedicate my life to seeking out the answers we need to create meaningful lives in a world of intense uncertainty and choice overwhelm.
Early on in my journey I stumbled upon this quote by Pablo Picasso:
“Action is the foundational key to all success.”
That about summed up where I was and what I was discovering. I couldn't just wait for life direction to find me. I had to go out there and find it for myself.
So I've been doing that and coaching others on how to do the same ever since.
Are you feeling stuck and unsure about what you need to do next?
If so I’d love to help.
Because life is too short to be miserable. xx